You Are Enough

Yesterday was the much awaited release day for Love Comes In The Mourning, and I would be lying to you if I didn’t tell you that it came with a certain high but then also a low.

For every great review or congratulations, I sat on the edge of my seat, waiting, just waiting, for the negative to come. Yes, it’s a pessimistic way to think- I know, but one thing I have learned in this writing career is you can’t teach your feelings logic.

And there is the also ever lingering doubt, did I promote this book enough? Did I edit enough? It only took four years…what’s four more, right?

Right! (Insert a head slap here.)

Many times, in the news, we often hear of celeberties abusing drugs or alcohol, even suffering from massive amounts of depression, and the tragic outcomes that end their lives. I believe on a small scale, I understand them. Granted my high’s and low’s both lead me to a bag of cookies and a coffee maker, not a bag of illegal substances, or other tragic endings, but the feelings might be a tiny bit of some of the same.

Is it human nature to always chase something? Do we all have a certain drive inside of us to never settle? Or is it just me? Or, still, do all of my efforts to be better, write a great book, give the readers something they want still come across to them as a writer who has settled? A writer who missed the typo-still after four years- or a writer who never caught it to begin with. After all, I’m only human.

And that’s when I realize, that with my last statement, I am, after all, only human, and I do believe in a Powerful and Almighty above who has you and me in his hands. And that’s when I have to throw all of these self-doubts up and say, “Not today Satan.” Because today, despite the logic of my feelings, I know I am enough. We are all each enough, and I know, despite all of these doubts in my mind, I wrote an amazing book. I hope you think so too. Much love!

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Erin Bevan

I’m not alone

Wow. It’s been almost two months since I have posted anything on here. Where has the time gone? I’ve been so busy with the hustle and bustle of editing and being a mom that I think I have forgotten how to write anything. And, I’ll be honest, it’s frustrating. It is frustrating being so busy and feeling like you’re being pulled in fifty different directions and accomplishing a big bunch of nothing in the process.

I read an interesting fact yesterday. I read that with the advancements of technology our attention spans have decreased to a whopping eight seconds. You read that right. That is if you are still reading this and I haven’t lost your attention yet. Eight seconds. Let that sink in. No wonder I feel like I am getting nothing done. My attention span is shorter than that of a goldfish.

And this morning as I finished my workout and decided I wanted to use the rest of my allotted child watch time at the gym, working on my computer, I asked to sit at a table with another woman on her computer. She happily moved her stuff over so I could join her, and she said something–something I have felt time and time again, but thought I was the only one. She said her child watch time was too precious to waste, nap times were always uncertain, and she needed to use every second of her day to her advantage. And inside I screamed a glorious YES, someone who understands. And then, a little part of me thought– maybe we should all just slow down.

Easier said than done, I know.

So, I’ll leave you with a Bible verse because sometimes when life gets tough-I just need a little Jesus to help me.

Erin Bevan

Halloween Reflection

Halloween has never been one of my favorite holidays, if you even call it a holiday. I suppose it’s a loose holiday like Valentine’s Day or St. Patrick’s Day (unless you’re Irish!). But this year, walking around with my children, my perspective changed a little.

My kids-six, three, and two-┬áhad a tough time containing their excitement for the past two weeks. When the evening of Halloween finally came, they jumped and danced all around the house like they had already partaken in an entire bucket of candy, yet, they hand’t had a piece.

As we began our venture through the neighborhood, I realized something. Despite who our next President will be, despite what race, religion, sex, or age, everyone joined together for an evening of fun. Kids of all ages ran to each house filled with the excitement at the anticipation of their next prize, while the givers smiled with joy filled faces and gladly gave away their bounty.

Princesses, dinosaurs, pirates, skeletons, zombies, and even an Oompa Loompa (no clowns though!) all band together for an enjoyable evening.

While I would prefer to leave the blood, guts, and overall creepiness of Halloween out, (cuz let’s be honest, you invite the devil in to play then he will y’all) I did enjoy and appreciate how this old tradition can bring such happiness to faces young and old. We forgot our problems and our differences for one evening, and all banned together to focus on the good. Even if it was just for one evening.

And now, I will have to admit, I’m a fan of Halloween.

Erin Bevan