Yesterday was the much awaited release day for Love Comes In The Mourning, and I would be lying to you if I didn’t tell you that it came with a certain high but then also a low.
For every great review or congratulations, I sat on the edge of my seat, waiting, just waiting, for the negative to come. Yes, it’s a pessimistic way to think- I know, but one thing I have learned in this writing career is you can’t teach your feelings logic.
And there is the also ever lingering doubt, did I promote this book enough? Did I edit enough? It only took four years…what’s four more, right?
Right! (Insert a head slap here.)
Many times, in the news, we often hear of celeberties abusing drugs or alcohol, even suffering from massive amounts of depression, and the tragic outcomes that end their lives. I believe on a small scale, I understand them. Granted my high’s and low’s both lead me to a bag of cookies and a coffee maker, not a bag of illegal substances, or other tragic endings, but the feelings might be a tiny bit of some of the same.
Is it human nature to always chase something? Do we all have a certain drive inside of us to never settle? Or is it just me? Or, still, do all of my efforts to be better, write a great book, give the readers something they want still come across to them as a writer who has settled? A writer who missed the typo-still after four years- or a writer who never caught it to begin with. After all, I’m only human.
And that’s when I realize, that with my last statement, I am, after all, only human, and I do believe in a Powerful and Almighty above who has you and me in his hands. And that’s when I have to throw all of these self-doubts up and say, “Not today Satan.” Because today, despite the logic of my feelings, I know I am enough. We are all each enough, and I know, despite all of these doubts in my mind, I wrote an amazing book. I hope you think so too. Much love!